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Anyone Have Advice On Dating With MS?

A MyMSTeam Member asked a question 💭
Oradell, NJ

I am single with MS. I find that potential mates are not receptive to the fact I have MS. When do you tell your date your have MS? You tell them too soon - they are spooked. You tell them a few dates in and they are hurt. I'm wholly frustrated.

May 2, 2013
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Answer Summary

Members who are single with MS widely agreed that honesty early in dating is best, with most recommending disclosure by the first or second... Read more

Members who are single with MS widely agreed that honesty early in dating is best, with most recommending disclosure by the first or second date so potential partners can decide for themselves whether they can handle it, rather than wasting time or developing feelings only to face rejection later. Several members shared painful experiences of partners leaving after diagnosis or during relapses, with many noting that those who truly care will stay and that anyone who runs isn't worth keeping, though the loneliness and repeated rejection still hurt deeply. A recurring theme was the importance of letting people get to know you as a person first while being upfront about MS soon after, and many expressed hope that the right partner who sees beyond the illness will eventually come along, with some even suggesting dating others with MS who would truly understand the daily struggles.

A MyMSTeam Member

I thought the man I was dating when I got the diagnosis would break up with me, but he married me a few years later. We have had many ups and downs because of my health, and he doesn't always understand but wants to.
I think a man who abandons you because of illness, isn't worth your time. There are many other good ones out there.

May 2, 2013
A MyMSTeam Member

I tell them right away, with in the first date. Let them think about it, of course, but I don't want to waste time and energy on someone that can't or won't accept that have issues, and better and worse days, and unpredictable symptoms. I am a challenge, but I can be worth it. If a chronic illness is going to scare them away, I'd rather know sooner than later. But that's just me.

May 2, 2013
A MyMSTeam Member

make it a point to be up front from the start...If they leave, you don't need that kind of man around anyway..Keep your head up high and don't let this get to you...I know it is hard but there will be that man that will stay and be the man you need around with MS.

May 2, 2013
A MyMSTeam Member

Date away, have fun~ MS is a diagnosis of a reason why there are certain abnomalities in your body.. Don't let MS be who you are. Don't go out of your way to tell anyone until you find that person that is special! If there are things that are distinctive then go with it slowly and play it as it happens. Most people think it's a death sentence, typically those that are not educated

May 2, 2013
A MyMSTeam Member

DonnaMaysFarrimond, the man I was dating when I was dx did break up with me...but came back two weeks later with his tail between his legs with more knowledge on MS than I could ever have. Sadly, he was dx with esophageal cancer a few years later and died. So this is a whole new world. And frankly, my dates have not been that receptive! I guess I have a few strikes - MS, dead ex, female lawyer, fluffy...ehh...Prince Charming will show up eventually!

May 2, 2013

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