Dear GAWD almighty! Get yourself to a doctor...like...eh...NOW! There is a lot of help out there, you just need to know where to find it and how to accept it.

From your post, it seems that you have found yourself in a big black hole. Believe me, that is temporary. It WILL get better.

Tell your doc all about this when you're in there. Ask about anti-depressant meds. Did you know that MSers have a MUCH higher rate of depression that the general population?Get a referral to a counselor. It sounds like you need to talk to someone face to face. Believe me, and I know from experience, it helps a LOT.

The counselor should also know about agencies in your area who can help you with the different problems you may have. I certainly was surprised to find out how much help was out there.

Another thing you might think about...MS is most often an invisible disease. People may see you as your old, healthy, helper self and know they can count on you. They cannot know how terrible you may feel...unless you tell them. Practice saying NO gracefully.

I highly suggest reading the book 'MS for Dummies'. LOL I know you're not a 'dummy', but this book is written by experts in an easy to read and understand style. It brings up a lot of points that I never thought about and gives great information and pointers on how to proceed further in your quest.

Blessings to you, sweetie. Keep on hangin' on.

Great advice Drake! Those bak holes we fall in are hell. But you gotta help yourself - call anyone you can and get help. There is help out there even if you have no insurance.

My advice: get meds, new friends will follow.

Take care; God Bless you. {{{HUGS]]]]

@A MyMSTeam Member, I just read your Profile and now I see a big problem: you live in the cold, overcast, dreary in the winter midwest (I grew up in MO, I know it well), and you just had a polar vortex! No sun and depressing is not what folks like us need. I hope the kids you help put a smile on your face! :)

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A MyMSTea...

We've all been there many times. I know it's hard, but you can't let it get you down. In my opinion, beating MS is mental since there's no cure. If you can do just one thing a day that MS restricts you from doing, you've beaten MS for that day. A few weeks ago, I was able to sit indian style for the first time in years. (I'm in a wheelchair) At that moment, I beat MS. Stay positive. I'm new here, but it seems to be a fantastic support group. I know it's hard, believe me. I let my MS run my life for awhile. Now, I've changed my lifestyle to be able to say "screw you, MS", at least once a day.

I understand and feel like this more than 90 percent of the time. I'm sorry you have to go through those things. Just know there is to much light in the world and us to not shine again