How I Learned To Stop Inviting Pain to My Party — and Gained Resilience in the Process | MyMSTeam

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How I Learned To Stop Inviting Pain to My Party — and Gained Resilience in the Process

Written by Brittany Quiroz
Posted on February 8, 2022

Living with a chronic condition has a way of making me feel fragile. Many of us feel as though our bodies are susceptible to everything and anything. I remember when my secret talent of collecting autoimmune disorders revealed itself. I went into paranoid lockdown mode. It suddenly made sense why even the tiniest cold could wreak havoc on my body, or why the lightest impact would make me feel like I’d been hit by an 18-wheeler.

I would do everything in my power to stay healthy, yet my body always had different plans. I was always keen on trying the next new immune-fighting trend — to the point that if someone told me drinking unicorn tears would help, I’d have been on the hunt for that majestic creature. That would have been my quest!

I started to feel like glass, like nothing I did would keep me from breaking. Nobody revels in the reality of lost control. But what happens to my mind when I feel fragile? I wind up feeling weak and less confident. I subconsciously fall into a victim’s state of mind, where I turn over my power to my body.

While our bodies do have quite a bit of control over those of us living with a chronic illness, we tend to overlook the fact that our mind is also an extremely powerful and vital tool.

Our bodies consistently and undoubtedly inform us when we are sick and in pain. Pain never fails to RSVP to the party. The signal is sent to our brains, where we consciously acknowledge the problem.

Of course, acknowledging and moving on is one thing. Yet so many of us give the pain recognition, then invite it over for drinks and charcuterie. We don’t need pain hanging around all day in our minds as well as our bodies. I now choose to recognize it, wave to it, say hello, and then continue with what I was doing. The longer I hang around in that space, the longer it will take me to recover.

Humor me for a second: You’re enjoying your afternoon gardening, playing fantasy football, or trying to nail a new eyeliner technique, and pain strikes. You recognize it, and then keep chatting with it. After 30 minutes of continuously playing out this dialogue of “I’m in pain. I can’t handle this anymore. Why is this happening to me?” you will probably feel 10 times worse. I know in my case, it causes me to feel defeated. Fragile. Weak. Powerless.

Now go back to your herb garden. Pain strikes again. You recognize it. Say hello to it, and then try to remember the way YouTube showed you how to plant basil correctly. The pain may still be physically there, but your mind is focused elsewhere, leaving you feeling more in control and resilient.

Would you invite people you can’t stand over to your house for an extended period of time? Of course not. So why give pain the same privilege? That’s the lesson I’ve learned, and it’s helped me immeasurably.

MyMSTeam columnists discuss multiple sclerosis from a specific point of view. Columnists' articles don’t reflect the opinions of MyMSTeam staff, medical experts, partners, advertisers, or sponsors. MyMSTeam content isn't intended as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.

Posted on February 8, 2022
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Brittany Quiroz is a freelance writer and the creator of A Hot MS, a site built to help change the perception of what disability looks like. Learn more about her here

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