I am dealing with the same issues as your husband. It took me years to finally HEAR my wife that it's ok if I don't perform every time. We do have a strong relationship and I felt like EVERY OTHER man going thru this that it was going to destroy our marriage and make me less of a man. My wife would say .. it's ok.. don't worry about it so much.. What I heard her say in my head was... "What is wrong with you ? Can't you fix this ??"

Now I actually understand the difference between a man & womans way to think about sex.

I am so appreciative of my supporting wife. Once I started to understand that she needed me more than sex, I have been able to relax, cuddle and occationally play !!

good point @A MyMSTeam Member..

For women sex is a totally different mindset. My point was to illustrate the difference in issues between men & women. For women the issue affects the emotional and feeling component. For men it affects the ability to perform from a physical standpoint even if he gets the hello, how was your day :)

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A MyMSTea...

@MikeonABike, If I was to describe my relationship with my wife it would exactly as yours.

My hubby (23 years older) takes viagra. I am the one with MS & have little interest in sex anymore but love my husband very much so I am glad he has his pill & then we get close & I take care of him. It works for us, though it bothers him I can't orgasm anymore & have pain with intercourse only partly due to dryness (went through menopause @39 due to cytoxan chemo).

@Janet I would say have him try the viagra. You can still make him happy without hurting yourself & men need this I've learned. Does he happen to be a veteran? Hubby gets like 6 pills a month from the VA real cheap.

Am sorry you both are struggling with this. At least you can be supportive in some ways with each other. I have gone thru periods of time with low to no sex drive or too much pain or other MS symptoms to want to have sex. Plus with the anxiety and depression MS had given me it can be tough to be in the mood. This was hard on my husband and as we sleep in different rooms it made it worse. But now that my MS is more controlled I have actually had an increase in my sex drive.... I know it has not purely due to meds as I think it began before I got on Tec but it has cont to increase and be positive. I asked my dr.... all be it with a slight blush, and he has no clue why, unless it had to do with unique placement of a lesion, but just told me to enjoy it as long as I had it! Thus I do.