I'm very sorry your husband passed away, that's so hard. Don't beat your self up by the ways you are coping. However, smoking cigs are so bad for your heath, which you know. My husband quit after 30 years of smoking. He did it by asking his doctor for help. Best wishes.

Iknow how you feel! I smoked for 40 years. I enjoyed It! I quit 5 years ago. My husband died 1 and half year ago I now live in a assisted living and I know if I had stayed in my home I would have started to smoke again! You do what is right for you! You know it bad for you but so did I. You'll stop when you want to!😎

Have you considered using an Ecig. My respiratory health has improved..and hopefully the stopping of traditional smoking has helped the immune system. Its such a bad habit but its what we do...

I just read your profile. It sounds like your boys are everything to you. Do this for them. They need their mother. :-) I'll keep you in my thoughts.

In the words of Sheryl Crow "if it makes you happy, it can't be that bad"
You're a big girl, you know the risks, personally it's one of the few pleasures I have and have no intention to quit, after 36 years smoking already it's never gonna happen even if I wanted to.