Connect with others who understand.

sign up log in
About MyMSTeam

Member Spotlight: 40 Years with Multiple Sclerosis - Part 3

Posted on September 04, 2019



Having MS as a constant companion has not been the easiest of relationships I’ve ever had to endure. But I’ve worked at it 24/7 because multiple sclerosis is not something I can just walk away from. MS quite literally controls my mobility. These days, however, I think I have a healthy respect for the illness. I don’t think the same could be said for the way I allowed MS to impact many of my past close relationships.

From the time I was diagnosed, almost 40 years ago, I hurt a lot of people. I never took responsibility for a lousy attitude towards my friends and family. I had no control over MS was something I had no control over, while on the other, I had an attitude that went unchecked.

Looking back over many years - and I’m talking decades here - it was too easy for me to let multiple sclerosis take the blame for every ungrateful thing I said and did. Events could have turned out more positively for me had I taken responsibility for my actions.

The way I saw things nothing was ever my fault. After all, I had MS and boy didn’t I let everyone know about it! So self-absorbed was I that I only had one topic of conversation: me suffering from multiple sclerosis. Asking how I was doing was always a huge mistake. I never stopped sharing about my fatigue, intermittent blindness, sleeping 24/7, bowel and bladder movements – yes, even that! The MS yada yada yada was the foundation for a lonely way of life.

I was self-absorbed in an MS world. It took a very special person to help me become less belligerent and a more mindful person. That person was Lizzy who has been my wife for the past 27 years. She has helped and inspired me to adopt a more positive way of living and to moderate how much I talk about my symptoms.

These days if somebody asks how I’m feeling I say fine, even if I’m not, before moving the conversation on. When it comes down to it, nobody wants to listen to a monologue about my bodily functions!

There are times I wish I could go back to when it all began and apologize for an attitude that negatively impacted so many people. But regrets about what I can no longer change are futile. Instead I live life to the fullest each day, being as inclusive to friends and family as I can. If I’m not having a good day then that’s nobody’s business but my own and, of course, Lizzy’s, who has helped me grow into the man I am today.

This article was written by MyMSTeam member Martin as part of the Member Spotlight Series. Martin has secondary progressive multiple sclerosis and is a writer who often blogs about his experience with MS.

Do you want to be a part of the MyMSTeam Member Spotlight Series?
Let us know here: support@MyMSTeam.com

A MyMSTeam Member said:

Good morning family

posted 3 months ago

hug (4)

Recent articles

Screen shot 2020 03 04 at 3.09.17 pm
We asked and you answered! We posted this question: What bits of "advice" do you wish people...

Your Answers: The Worst MS Advice (Infographic)

We asked and you answered! We posted this question: What bits of "advice" do you wish people...
Mymsteam rc carousel relapsing remitting
Article written by Kelly Crumrin As of January 2019, there were 18 different disease-modifying...

Relapsing-Remitting MS (RRMS) Treatments Explained

Article written by Kelly Crumrin As of January 2019, there were 18 different disease-modifying...
Gastroparesis and ms causes  symptoms and treatments
Article written by Laurie Berger Do you suffer from painful belly bloating? You’re not alone. Up...

Gastroparesis and MS: Causes, Symptoms and Treatments

Article written by Laurie Berger Do you suffer from painful belly bloating? You’re not alone. Up...
Msspasicity
Article written by Laurie Berger Medically reviewed by Aaron Boster, M.D.Spasticity is one of the...

MS Spasticity: Causes and Treatments

Article written by Laurie Berger Medically reviewed by Aaron Boster, M.D.Spasticity is one of the...
Mht infographic symptoms mymsteam
Below the surface, living with MS can mean days spent in bed, missed appointments, and alternate...

MS: What People Don't See (Infographic)

Below the surface, living with MS can mean days spent in bed, missed appointments, and alternate...
Ms prognosis multiple sclerosis life expectancy
Article written by Annie Keller It’s not something anyone wants to think about, but when you get...

MS Prognosis: Multiple Sclerosis Life Expectancy

Article written by Annie Keller It’s not something anyone wants to think about, but when you get...
Impact of cognitivie symptoms on
In a 2018 survey of more than 850 MyMSTeam members, we asked about what it is like living with...

How MS Cognitive Symptoms Impact Lives

In a 2018 survey of more than 850 MyMSTeam members, we asked about what it is like living with...
Mht ad treatments a
Article written by Kelly Crumrin There are now more treatments for MS than ever before. MS...

Treatments for Multiple Sclerosis

Article written by Kelly Crumrin There are now more treatments for MS than ever before. MS...
Ms and headaches types  causes  and treatments
Article written by Annie Keller Headache is a common occurrence for people with multiple...

MS and Headaches: Types, Causes, and Treatments

Article written by Annie Keller Headache is a common occurrence for people with multiple...
Mht ad mstreatments covid19 carousel
Article written by Eric Peacock Many members of MyMSTeam have been asking, “Is it still safe to...

MS Treatments and COVID-19: What to Discuss With Your Neurologist

Article written by Eric Peacock Many members of MyMSTeam have been asking, “Is it still safe to...
MyMSTeam My multiple sclerosis Team

Two Ways to Get Started with MyMSTeam

Become a Member

Connect with others who are living with multiple sclerosis. Get members only access to emotional support, advice, treatment insights, and more.

sign up

Become a Subscriber

Get the latest articles about multiple sclerosis sent to your inbox.

Not now, thanks

Privacy policy
MyMSTeam My multiple sclerosis Team

Thank you for signing up.

close