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“One thing I’ve realized since I got MS is that it’s OK to ask for help versus trying to do everything yourself. A lot of times people want to help if you allow them to.” Dani Darling, a MyMSTeam member, talked to us about the importance of support during a recent interview.

Dani is a singer, guitarist, songwriter, and producer who performs with her indie soul band, Dani Darling. She found out she had MS during the summer of 2021. She had recently released her Detroit Music Award-nominated EP, “The Future,” and then experienced MS symptoms while performing onstage.

Dani is also an identical triplet, a youth mentor, and a single mother. She emphasized the role of community support since she’s been living with MS. “Community has been super important for me with MS,” she explained. “I’m a triplet, so I was born in a group. I’m an extrovert. It’s been a vital thing for me to have a support system, my family, my work colleagues, and I wouldn’t have been able to accomplish anything if I didn’t have them.”

Since Dani’s a musician, it’s not surprising that she looks to music for inspiration: “When I first found out I had multiple sclerosis, music from the ’70s really touched me. Music from that era was just very uplifting. Bill Withers’ ‘Lean on Me.’ It made me think back to my childhood, to a place where I had fewer cares.” It’s also worth noting that for most people, childhood is a time when they felt more comfortable asking for help and support.

Dani works as the music program coordinator at a youth center. “On a typical day, it’s kind of a madhouse,” she said. “Throughout the workday, if symptoms come up, I try to tell my colleagues that I’m not feeling great. Even if you have a job that makes accommodations, the hard part is asking for it. This is a space where they really make it easy to think about how you feel and what you need. Sometimes I need to check in with myself and have the boundaries to say, ‘No, let’s put this off till tomorrow.’”

Read more about workplace accommodations for people with MS.

Dani recognizes that speaking up isn’t always easy, but it’s often the first step in getting the help and support you need. “If you’re feeling really alone, that’s a very difficult thing to overcome in addition to multiple sclerosis,” she said. “If you don’t have people you can rely on, I think sometimes it’s as easy as being more open about what you need and what you feel.

“If someone is going through something like MS, having a support system is always worth it,” Dani continued. “Being able to say how you feel, say what you need, can sometimes be hard. But it’s about giving the people that care for you a chance to be there for you.”

Learn about six resources for managing life with MS.

Talk With Others Who Understand

On MyMSTeam, the social network for people with multiple sclerosis and their loved ones, members come together to ask questions, give advice, and share their stories with others who understand life with MS.

Since you’ve been living with MS, have you had to learn how to ask for support? What are some ways you do that? Share your experience in the comments below, or start a conversation by posting on your Activities page.

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